Cuz I’m a Laaady

Feminism. How has it affected our relationships with men? It’s 2018 and this subject can escalate quickly! But nonetheless I naturally have an opinion on it. Now listen as a woman I’m already going to be naturally bias toward the female species. But as you get to know me through this forum you’ll learn that I will always keep it real and raw! So with that said, ladies ladies ladies what are we doing here? Of course I want women to be treated fairly WORLDWIDE! But here in America I think we got lost somewhere around wanting to get paid fairly and wanting to be treated equal to men.

Here is the conundrum. And I speak from a heterosexual female’s point-of-view. Btw, please chime in in the comments below if you have a different angle. But anyway here is the conundrum from my perspective. I think that humans in general tend to focus mainly on what’s directly in front of them and care less for the projected future. Whether this is done intentionally with the thought that “hey I’ll deal with the consequences later”, or it’s done subconsciously and the person simply ignorantly and naively completely disregards the possible consequence.  So, with that said women forgot, somewhere along the lines, that we are going to have to live with, sleep with, and marry these men that we are trying to get to conform to our will and ways of thinking!! Well what’s the problem with that you ask? Simple, it’s psychological. If getting the masses (mainly men) to understand, respect, protect the woman’s well being isn’t handled properly you’ll end up with the mess we have today. i.e an alarming amount of professional women in their 30’s whom are still SINGLE but want to be married, higher divorce rates, single family homes, rape culture and let’s not forget the ‘slut walks’.

That’s what we have people. Yea, we may be getting paid more and getting the jobs men tend to get more often. But did we really get what we wanted truly in our hearts? Did we really get that respect, understanding, security, and LOVE from our male counterparts, which let’s be honest is what women really want. NO! Men are no more respectful than they were in 1950! And now you’re his boss and he resents you even more than he did before. Feminism was mishandled. Why? Because the charge was lead by women and only women. To get into the mind the psyche of a man and understand a man, you need A MAN! You need a mans mind and how it works to understand how to reprogram it to function properly. Ok ok now wait I’m not saying men are bad I’m just saying that for centuries, and for many reasons I don’t have the space to discuss on this post, men were programmed to think and act a certain way toward women that just wasn’t right or fair. It is psychological, it’s generational, and it’s embedded in the DNA. Ladies we’ve got some of those generational issues too, but that’s for another post. My point is, is getting the man collectively to understand us through the Feminist movement failed! Now, we’ve got women that are single with great careers and no man that’s “strong enough” to marry or stay married to her strength. Every other twitter hashtag is about men being douche bags and “where all the real men at” posted everywhere I turn. Men are collectively losing respect for women (I got this from several men I personally respect). I told myself, “self, thank God I found my husband early and was able to “program” him to act the way I want”. I said this I did! And it’s because I cannot imagine dating in this age of men. They are completely clueless on how to love a woman in a way that will make her happy. I’m not blaming all of this on the feminist movement, there are other factors involved like the media and upbringing. BUT if you as a woman are relying on ‘the movement’ to mold your man, you’re doomed!

So, Avi, what’s the solution then? First let me tell you what I’ve gathered from men on what the issue is. Women are acting like MEN! A heterosexual man DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH ANOTHER MAN! Should I say it again for the people in the back? Oh and a homosexual man wants to be with MEN! Not a woman that acts like a man! Women want to have the mans job in the workplace AND at home and in life in general, well you end up getting treated like a man or worse, you get disrespected or dismissed! So I’ve got a list of a few simple pointers us ladies can consider if we want to have a successful relationship with our men.

  1. Let your man be a MAN! I know you’ve heard your grandma say this 100 times, but she’s old and she’s right. Letting your man be in charge is the same as letting your boss be your boss at work. And if you own your own company then sis you aren’t going to let your employees tell YOU what to do right? There simply cannot be two bosses.
  2. Understand that your man does not understand. Listen, as much as we want our men to read our minds, they CAN’T! Well at least not at first. Have you ever heard the saying “You’ve been together so long you’ve started to look alike”? It’s kind of like that. The longer the two of you actively learn and get to know each other, the easier it will be for the two of you to develop second nature what each other wants and needs. Until then…..
  3. COMMUNICATE. Telling your man (or woman, men if you’re reading) EVERYTHING! Tell them what’s on your mind and in your heart. Tell them your goals. Tell them you desires! Communication=Understanding
  4. Allow your mate to be an INDIVIDUAL. As of 2018 we do not have the ability to clone ourselves into the opposite sex and marry it. You are going to disagree with your mate about things and that’s ok. Something I noticed in my marriage is that at times we will agree to disagree and then later one of us will come back and say “you know you were right about that 1 thing”, which brings me to my next point.
  5. BE HONEST. As much as the truth can sometimes be hard to give, it is an absolute MUST! That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t use tact when conversing with your mate. But you have to confront an issue that may be concerning you or a truth that you must expose for the sake of positive energy flow in your relationship. If you do this, there is no room left for guessing. Your mate knows where your head is. There will also be no place for negativity or evil to fester in your relationship either.
  6. Choose your mate WISELY! If you have the opportunity to do so, take your time in choosing the right man. There really are some good men out there. Don’t allow social media to determine what type of man is worth your time. Don’t be shallow. Don’t be conceited. Do look within yourself to determine what type of man is going to help you develop into the woman you see yourself truly! And then in turn do the exact same for him.
  7. Respect! Have respect for your man! If you’ve chosen a man that doesn’t beat or cheat on women, then this shouldn’t be a problem. Ladies I know we can get crazy with our words and our hands, but you’ve got to control your emotions! Slow down and think about what you want to say to your man before your emotions speak first. Remember what you want the end result to be at the end of that conversation.
  8. Last but certainly not least. Have sex with your man! Better yet, WANT to have sex with your man. It’s not a stereotype! It’s the truth. A man will be more willing to bend to your will if he is pleased with you. And sex I’m sure is right at the top of his list, along with respect. Show your man that you desire him and you are interested in him. Hold his interest, because all the feminists at the slut walk are licking their lips and giving your man the eye sis.

So, that’s my piece on this whole Feminist thing. Ladies we don’t need to join a band of other individual women to get men to treat us right! We first have to be honest about who we are and what we truly want from our male counterparts. Which should be respect, security, and LOVE. YOU’RE A LADY ACT LIKE ONE! So, if we have a half way decent man at home, we can deal with our men individually. Show them how to care for us and in turn our men will be an example to other men and will teach their sons to do the same thing. Thus breaking the generational curse.

Now, this post was for my ladies and gentleman whom are interested in quality relationships and marriages. But if you are single and not interested in dating, and still have to deal with douche bag men, my next post is for you. If you’re looking for the post for men and how they should act, that’s coming soon. If you are not into monogamous relationships at all and are with the ‘slut movement’ and free love etc, then keep on marching sister there’s room on this planet for you too. But be honest with yourself in determining if that way of life is enough for you. If not, then check your energy and how you’re putting it into the world. THE ENERGY YOU PUT FORTH WILL ALWAYS COME BACK TEN FOLD. How are you REALLY doing as an individual? We’ll talk about that next time!

Peace

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Cuz I’m a Laaady

  1. Love this Avi boo! I definitely agree. This has really got me thinking as well. I want the career but at the same time it doesn’t hold you to sleep at night. I realized I want to be happy but I shouldn’t have to compromise my relationship or disrespect men in the process. At first Tee felt like he had to compete with me. Which isn’t the case. I just wanted him to take charge and be accountable for being the head of this family. Good read sis!

    Jasmine (Jae)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for reading! But Yes I think it’s very possible to have the career and a successful marriage, BUT we gotta leave it at work and let our men be the “boss” at home and in the same energy teach our men how to love and respect us individually and as women in general! See ya on the next post sis!

      Like

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