My mother told me when I was younger that as I got older I would realize that everyone I started with wouldn’t stick around for many reasons. She said that this was essential for my growth and maturity. As an adolescent and young adult, I was very social, maybe even a bit too social. I’ve had so many “best friends” over the years, that I’ve lost count. Coming into my adult years I began to discover who I really am and focus on what my purpose is and what my contributions have been to all of these said friendships. Discovering that my contributions and gains were quite minimal, I came to realize that I needed to change myself and in turn create more meaningful and substance filled relationships. Knowing this meant that I would have fewer friends and associates and even less, if any, “best friends”.
When I say I’m attempting to have more meaningful relationships, I don’t mean that I am going to be dropping my existing friends like a bad habit. I mean, when it comes to my interactions with people I want to make it count and care less about the time that we hadn’t spent together and focus more on the time that we have now. I want for the people that I have allowed to be in and affect my life to say: that was a good time until next time, however far away that may be. When you focus too much on the quantity of the friends you have and the quantity of time that you spend together, it begins to become superficial and lose its substance.
In the past I would hang with a person practically every day and then once we tire of each other, our friendship would begin to dissipate. Some may say that’s a normal occurrence for coming of age. But for me, it was eye opening. How many of these lives have I entered and not been able to show the love that I genuinely have and WANT to give? How many of these people have I inadvertently told, “your friendship isn’t as valuable to me, although internally I really do care for you?”
I’ve decided recently that that must change! I need to take the time to give more of myself unselfishly and lovingly. I want my interactions and relationships to be REAL but more importantly MEANINGFUL! Even if I only spend an hour with someone, I want to MAKE IT COUNT for something. Let it be that that person says hey that’s a good person, she keeps it real, but in a loving way! And for the people that simply want to live in darkness and phoniness, hopefully my example of change will inspire them to do the same or keep it moving. There’s no time or need to be bothered with ones that don’t embrace growth, maturity and wisdom. I just can’t stand phony interactions! It truly gives me the heebeejeebees! I want for when people talk to me they say to themselves: “self, I have to be genuine with this one because she’s bringing out the love guns, I should receive that”. I want to give off an energy that says I’m here for the real and if you ain’t REAL, you might as well keep walking! I no longer have time to waste on substance-less interactions with people. From now on I’m going to MAKE IT COUNT! Because mom was right, it’s essential to my growth. Will you take the challenge like I did to create more meaningful relationships? You may be wondering how! Welp, I can do my best to give you my perspective in a new relationship series touching on how to build a foundation with yourself FIRST, and then some tips and tools that I’ve learned that helped to cultivate success in the different types of relationships I’ve created in my life; such as spiritual life, work life, friendships, family and marriage. Hopefully it can benefit even just 1 person or relationship in a loving and positive way! Stay tuned for the series! Love ya